I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
