trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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