I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
