OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
