Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
