i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
