all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
