I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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