I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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