barbara walters just said penis...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
