Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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