Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
