Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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