Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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