If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
