Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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