The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
