Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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