i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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