I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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