oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
