I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
