he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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