I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I did not marry a roomba.
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