When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
