i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
