At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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