New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How does it feel to date your dad?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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