People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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