I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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