I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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