YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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