I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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