He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you inspire me to be a worse person
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
