she was so not down for the gang bang
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
