He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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