Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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