i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
