The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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