Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
