you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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