dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
