if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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