u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
