They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
