U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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