Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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