I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
