don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize