She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
