Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
