Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
