If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
